i've been wondering long time ago. what is the purpose of my life?
i mean, what is my role here in this world?
i keep asking God, but i still cant get what God want me to do.
but suddenly, i remember this.
i start my independent life when i was 12.
i grow up without my mom.
my childhood life was.. hmm..
i start working to earn money when i was 12 years old.
i earn money to pay my school's fee and to buy books and stationary.
from then, every school break i will work to earn money.
until now, i earn my own money to pay everything.
my cloths, my stuffs, my school's fee, my anything and anything.
i never have the gut to asked money from my family.
sometimes when i really have to pay something and i have no money,
i wil borrow some money from my family.
i will pay them back. because i borrow it.
until now, life never change.
i still have to be independent.
if i dont have money i have to work.
Thank God, i have a scholarship. im very thankful.
i feel better about my life.
but the thing is.
my brother didnt get any scholarship.
he applied for ptptn.
and he spent money so fast.
i dont know what he bought.
he's a big spender.
and now. i always give him money
because i cant let him starving or fail because of money.
so i have to do some saving, to give him some money.
i always do that.
i never spend much money for myself.
why is that like that?
i wanna do some saving for my future.
but still i cant because i have to tanggung my adik.
sometimes im very tired you know
there's time i feel like giving up my life.
i was praying that doomsday will come very very soon.
luckily i met Jek. my boyfriend.
he gave me hope and reason to be strong.
atleast i know someone will take care of me when i have nobody.
atleast i know someone love me.
atleast i know i have someone to lean on when life is killing me.
I wanna get stronger.
i wont let life make my life miserable.
i will get through this with God and Jek in my life.
i will make this as a lesson and not a reason to quit.
i must be strong. be strong!!!!!!!!!!!